It’s typical for newlyweds to disappear off the face of the earth. Don’t be alarm we all do it. While we enjoy the new thrill of our lives, some of our relatives and friends find it strenuous to reach us. Others will respect your space and assume you will reach out to them once things get in order. There are a lot of challenges married couples encounter within the first year of marriage. They are learning how to work together and figure out what strategies works best for them. They are combining two different styles of upbringing all while creating a foundation together. Can you imagine how complicated that is? Soon enough they’ll come back around and friendships will continue to be built. In addition to the marriage journey, children are born and new chapters are created. Finding time for friends and family becomes another level of complication through this adventure we call life.
Overall, our spouse and children are devoted to most of our time. Each day you come home to cook dinner, check homework, put the children to bed, and have discussions with your spouse about bills, vacations, etc. Months goes by before you remember to contact close friends and they soon think you drifted off the face of the earth. Less communication with relatives becomes the norm, and before you know it events will happen amongst your family and friends that you are unaware of. There’s a way to avoid all of this from happening, yet you must learn how to balance the best of both worlds.
Deep down inside we all want to get away from our spouse, and children every once in a while. Who wouldn’t mind hanging out with well-known friends and talk about the good old days before getting marriage and having children? We’ve all watched those movies where a girl’s getaway is every wife’s dream. Here are the steps to balance marriage, family, and friendships.
Make a Schedule
This may sound ridiculous but it’s important! Our days consist of work, running errands, doctor appointments, practices, meetings, etc. We can fill our day up and not even realize it. Hanging out with co-workers or friends may seem impossible, but schedule future events to avoid neglecting obligations with your spouse and family. When your friends want to get together look ahead to see what days you are available and make plans from there.
Use Time Wisely
Balancing relationships doesn’t have to be in person. You can place a phone call to one of your relatives while you are on your way to work. A twenty-minute commute to and from work is enough time to have a conversation with someone. Put a reminder on your phone whether it’s to buzz a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or to check on a relative you’ve been meaning to get back to. Call them when the alarm goes off. Yes, it may sound silly but it works! You never know, that person may be in dire need to talk to someone.
Helpful hint: shooting a text is great! It allows people to know you are thinking about them. Text “Good Morning” or “I was just thinking about you,” are great conversation starters, especially if you are on the go and can’t talk on the phone.
Stick to Commitments
Everyone hates to be brushed off. If you have plans, stick to them. How else will you hang out and spend quality time with your friends? If it’s difficult to schedule a gathering due to a hectic schedule, plan to meet up weeks or months in advance. This prioritizes your time and gives
your spouse advanced notice as well as something for you to look forward to in the meantime.
Devote Undivided Attention
Have you ever been out with someone and they were on the phone the entire time? How rude right? No one likes to feel secondary. If you are spending time with someone, turn off the notifications on your phone, and only answer it if it’s an emergency. This will make your company feel valuable. The same applies when you are talking on the phone. Don’t hold two conversations at the same time, that’s not fair to either individual and most of all it’s impolite.
If you are having a hard time scheduling outings with girlfriends and relatives, talk to your spouse about it. Come up with solutions between the two of you. He can have a night out with the guys, and you can have a night out with the girls. That way the two of you can rotate babysitting. For days when you both want to go out on a date, have a designated person to call to babysit. You can also host a gathering and invite friends over. Plan a social event where you and your friends can have a girl’s night in. You can play games, have a few drinks, and be social. Your friends will love it and you will too.
Don’t be that person that calls people only when you want to complain about someone, or in a need of something. This behavior will make family and friends put a barrier on your relationship with them. Soon enough you will find it hard to hang out with anyone because of repetitive behaviors. Staying connecting to friends and family is the best way to conquer your marriage and relationships.
Community Convo: What outings do you plan with your family and friends? How do you balance time with your spouse and family? Take a moment and comment below. Let’s start a conversation!