After the birth of our son I had the pleasure to enjoy maternity leave. I was not sure how I was going to handle going back to work, but overall I knew reality was coming whether I liked it or not. I was nervous, scared, and upset because I knew I had to go back in order to help support our family. I wanted to spend my time at home watching our son grow. I wasn’t certain what going back to work was going to be like. I knew I was going to miss being around him all day, and I wasn’t sure if daycare was going to be a good fit for him. Would they hold him the way I do? Or give him the attention I know he craves, or rub his back when he falls asleep? I had to trust someone with our son and a part of that scared me.
It wasn’t until I dropped him off to daycare for the first day that I realized this was it…I had to trust someone. When he came home from his first day of daycare he was exhausted and for the first time I was able to get some work done. It’s been a while since I had the chance to write, listen to podcast, or do anything pertaining to my personal goals. Turns out daycare has been a great asset to our life. The next day our son smiled when he realized he was back at the familiar place. It put my heart at ease knowing he was happy and content with his new surroundings. I was able to get back into writing, I even got up early last week to go to the gym. For the first time in three months I felt like I had the opportunity to get back to me. That’s when I realized in order to move towards a goal we have to let some things go and put some things into place in order to put our best foot forward.
Since March, I have been enjoying the journey of maternity leave. Prior to taking a hiatus from my job, I anticipated for day I would not have to return to work. All to know that motherhood is an excursion in itself. I’ve cried, became frustrated, and confused when it came to soothing our son whenever he cried. There were even times when I cried, however, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and work through it.
During my maternity leave I don’t have many places to go with a newborn, (especially with this unpredictable weather). After so many days of staying in the house, it started messing with my mental state. When walls look the same and your creative mind is challenged there are times when you want to throw in the towel and say forget it! I sat and watch television all day, talk on the phone about meaningless conversations, while changing diapers, nursing, and singing songs that have no meaning, (which is interesting I must say). This pattern happened consecutively and it got to a point where I became angry. I didn’t know what I want for my life and I was starting to feel like my life was chipping away. I was no longer an individual who had a dream, but a mom who had someone depending on them.
I love being a mom, and I am grateful to have a healthy baby, but sometimes I felt like that’s all I was…a mom. I believed my dreams were on the backburner and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to focus on them again. I viewed other people who were successful and became jealous. I was afraid that I would not be able to do what I wanted to do in life, as if my aspirations were taken away from me. This became scary because I thought what if I don’t do what I really wanted to do in life? This lead to frustration and confusion. One of the reasons why I felt this way was because growing up people would say, “when you have children your life is over.” Continue reading “How to Get Out Your Funky Mood”
Loneliness takes over a person’s mind and absorbs any ounce of happiness in their life.
When you are left with negative thoughts it can lead to a dangerous place. It’s only a matter of time before that ticking time bomb explodes. Sadly, a lot of people keep their thoughts to themselves. I mean I get it, you don’t know who to trust, and most of all you don’t want your business out there for someone else to gossip about. I have been there and to be honest with you I still struggle with that from time to time.
2010-2011 was a rough year for me. I was hurt from a previous relationship and to top it off, I was alone. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I only went to work because I knew that was something I had to do in order to pay my bills. However, during that time conversations were meaningless and I viewed my life the same way. My friends were getting married and I all had were my feelings and my apartment. Those days drove me insane! I went to work, did my duties, and rushed home to stayed in bed. I barely ate nor did I care if I had anything to eat.
When I relocated to another state I didn’t realize the importance of family. I was always around them and it’s true you don’t miss something until its gone. Well not quite gone but you catch the drift. I was 3 1/2 hours away from home and a phone call was not always good enough. One time I managed to go home but I had to drive back to Maryland Christmas night because I worked the next day. The weather was horrible and I refused to travel alone on a holiday again. With that being said holidays were a drag and the following Christmas I didn’t do anything. Despite living in a new town and being distant with family and friends I had to find happiness within myself, but during that time I didn’t know how.
10 Surprising Benefits You’ll Get From Keeping a Journal -Thai Nguyen
Continue reading “How Journaling Saved My Life”
On your way to work, you may listen to your favorite artist or radio show host. You might read a book by your most liked author, or watch a movie that has your best-loved actress in it. To some fans, it seems like celebrities are an overnight success, but that’s far from the truth. In order for them to get where they are, they had to be consistent, motivated, and most importantly they had to have grit!
I recently watched The Real and Ava DuVernay was a guest on the show. She is a successful film director and created the hit show Queen Sugar. She also directed a movie that was recently released called A Wrinkle in Time, she is one of the most talked directors of 2018. As I was listening to her story she stated something that stood out like a sore thumb and that was this: it’s never too late to start something new. She did not pick up a camera until she was in her early thirties. This gave me hope. As adults, we put a time frame on when we should be successful and if we don’t make it by that time we think we are screwed. Thankfully that thought is a total lie. Continue reading “How Do You Find Your Grit?”
We have to choose to be HAPPY.
It’s important to put your best foot forward. This can be HARD and it’s definitely easier said than done. I constantly talk about how we drive ourselves insane by doing the same thing EVERYDAY. We go to work, come home, do our home duties whether it’s cooking dinner, helping the children with homework, and/or sitting at the kitchen table figuring out bills. Your day may not be like that exactly you might have a part-time job or spend most of your evenings taking your children to practices or extracurricular activities. Whatever your evening consist of if you are not fulfilling your purpose you will suffer from this type of lifestyle, even if the bills are being paid. NO ONE can determine your purpose but God and you. So whatever that purpose is, be sure to stay true to it and work daily to achieve it.
In order to be successful in life, we have to make a conscious decision to stay committed to our short-term and long-term goals.
Continue reading “3 Ways to Stay Committed to Yourself”