Our childhood years are pivotal moments. This is the time when we’re introduced to love and relationships. Typically starting with our parents and trickling down to siblings and other relatives in our family. I learned the effects of childhood relationships during my undergraduate years when I majored in psychology. Interactions with parents and people close to us affect us in so many ways. For example an only child may prefer more personal space than a child who has multiple siblings. A person who raised by a single parent may have different perspectives on relationships compared to someone brought up in a two-parent household. It takes insight to understand that some childhood upbringing may not be the best to carry on into adulthood, especially when it affects future relationships.
Not everyone is taught how to love. Some people go through life not knowing what love truly means.
Generations love differently, just think about it. Babyboomers being born between 1946-1964 and experience different opportunities during childhood. Some went to college to further their education while others worked good-paying jobs right out of high school, working their way up to CEO status or high management positions. Whether they further their education or not, some people in that generation were known to live in households with unstable relationships. Men would marry and have other families causing friction in the household. Wives who invested into their spouse didn’t have the strength or finances to leave due to their husband being the breadwinner. They practically called the shots and if they were caught with another woman it was brushed off. Can you imagine what love was like in a household like that? Now granted there are some women who may live like that even today, but back in those days, it was the norm. Continue reading “Relationships Take Maturity – Here’s How to Handle Conflicts”
One of the biggest challenges as a blogger is trying to figure out content to
write. I mean there are a lot of topics to discuss, but I don’t want to write just any ol’ thing. I like to write on issues people can relate and learn from, so for me, this can be a challenge. I have been stuck for a few weeks wondering what to compose and what readers would benefit from. I started so many times, deleted so many headers and scratched my head during the process. But I learned how life has a way of throwing wrenches at us especially when we least expect it. Just think about what the country has been through over the last few weeks. People suffer through multiple natural disasters making it easier for them to want to throw in the towel and forget about their dreams let alone surviving. Then it hit me and the topic of this blog came to mind.
We have high expectations for our future. We set short-term and long-term goals. We may go the extra mile and set dates for when we want them accomplished. Typically when we pursue our goals, we set aside time for us to work on them until life stressors come into play. When this happens it’s often we put things off and say I’ll do it tomorrow.
One break can turn into one too many and we find ourselves not accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves. We may experience a bad day from work, an argument with our spouse, or worry about financial issues. This leads to roadblocks, fears, and doubt causing us to forget the reason why we were so ambitious about our goals. How do we avoid that? It’s easy to set goals but it can be difficult to follow through with them.
Goals can be a wide range of things like finishing school, purchasing a car, getting your credit together, buying a house, or following a career you are passionate about. If you hang around people who don’t care about their credit, don’t know what a credit score is, or can’t imagine themselves with good credit then how do you expect to want the same thing? This also goes for buying a home, if you want to purchase a home and don’t know how to do so but every one of your friends has a home, in due time you will get one too. People enjoy helping each other especially when it’s something they’ve done before. Have you ever planned a wedding or prepared for a baby and received so much advice? It’s kinda the same thing when it comes to pursuing your goals.
Continue reading “A Note To Self-Something You Should Read”
You are not alone.
You may not be in the job field you prefer, trust me I am a witness. The income and bills do not add up, your relationship sucks and everyone around you seems to be madly in love. You find yourself alone and in your thoughts, while others have family and friends to depend on. Life can throw some huge curveballs meanwhile you have to bounce back as if nothing is wrong.
You work so hard to get into your desired career. You enjoyed the years of undergrad, pursued an education in grad school to obtain a good paying job. All to be bombarded with student loans and God knows any other debt you collected over the years. You settled for a mediocre job for the time being just to make ends meet, but end up there longer than anticipated. You continue to get rejection letters from the career of your choice, yet you know you deep down inside you meet the qualifications and would do a better job than the person they hired. Everyone tells you it is going to be okay, but creditors are calling your phone and filling your inbox with the past due letters and unsubstantial balances. It does not look good from your point of view and screaming at the top of your lungs will not make everything go away.
What about those in a relationship? No, I didn’t forget about you. When you love, you love hard. You want what everyone else is raving about. To find what LOVE really means from someone that cares and not from a person who wants only what you have to offer. Falling in love is so easy while getting over a heartbreak seems damn there near impossible. You cry yourself to sleep at night all to wake up the next day with the same results. You go to work, make small conversations and try to avoid talking about the one who took you for granted. You are left with tarnish memories and anticipate when you can move on from an unwanted, unnecessary, and unappreciated relationship. Continue reading “The Problem We Face as Millennials”
Have you ever wondered why kids enjoyed coloring? I use to think it was a great way to keep them quiet. As a parent, it works in many ways. Those moments of quiet time while coloring is priceless! Unless your child prefers to talk and ask thousands of questions while coloring. If so, then that’s okay too! But overall coloring displays creativity, and almost all children are proud of their coloring once they are done. It’s nice to post it on the refrigerator or somewhere in your office. It’s a nice piece of art, despite what the end results may look like.
Years ago when I worked on a child inpatient psychiatric unit, our patients love to color. It was a way to start the day after they ate breakfast or during goals group. Coloring was a way to keep them calm and refrain from distractions. Most of the times the task worked, and other times it was challenging but overall, the patient’s enjoyed coloring. It was a good coping skill and most importantly it broke the ice especially when a new patient was admitted to the unit.
Some patients took their time, staying in the lines and outlining prior to shading in the photo, others colored carelessly, overall it was therapeutic to them and to some, it was quite rewarding. Shy patients became expressive by telling stories and others talked about social events. I was amazed of how a simple task gave the opportunity for children to express themselves emotionally.
There were times when I’d join in and color with them, it was easier to ask questions and engage in conversation whenever I participated in the same activity. Often times it made me think about my childhood days. I colored all the time when I was by myself. I remember when I was a kid, my uncle and I coloring pages from my coloring book on my grandma’s living room floor. His picture was neat because he stayed in the lines. The white photo came to life with vibrant colors. He shaded the picture perfectly and it wasn’t long before I compared my picture to his. Our conversation was minimum he asked me about school and common things an adult would ask an elementary student. My uncle passed a few years later it’s amazing how that moment stays in my mind til this day. Continue reading “How Coloring Relieves Stress”
We get disturbed thinking about reoccurring bills and other priorities that require our financial attention. We go to work and for some of us, we are unsatisfied with our position, especially those working for companies with little to no growth. Many people want to resign from their jobs but do not have enough money in their savings to call it quits. When we are not happy at work we lack motivation and produce minimum performances that commonly results in stress. When stressed, we reduce involvement in social gatherings, become isolative, and lack productivity in things that give us joy. This is not conducive to our health spiritually, physically, and mentally. Therefore, it is important to know how to handle stress. THE ULTIMATE DREAM is to do what we love and even with that comes pressure. Talk with an entrepreneur or a person at the peak of their career, they will tell you that stress visited them quite a few times during their journey!
I wish I could trade in my work shoes and go back to playing in the backyard with my childhood friends. Oh, how I wish to be a kid again!
Stress is not going anywhere, it is here to stay for eternity!
Here are common issues that cause stress:
- Living Environment
- Lack of Social Support
Continue reading “5 Tips for Tackling Stress”