I can’t take this anymore! I am so tired of you treating me this way. Since the day we met, for 16 months straight, all you’ve done is disrespect me. Now I’m trying to work with you, and you keep telling me, “I’m going to change babe.” But now I believe your actions and your words mean two different things.
For the last three out of the twelve months all you did was hit me. I’m tired of this Terrence. How long do you expect me to let you treat me like this? The first time you slapped me across my face caught me off guard. Then you sat there and took me out to dinner and bought me roses like nothing ever happened; and let’s not talk about the last time you hit me which was only last night!
I came home and didn’t have enough time to wash your clothes. When you came home and noticed there wasn’t any food on the table, you had the nerve to call me a bitch, and pin me against the wall. You yelled at me and told me how I was an unfit fiancé and that you regretted proposing to me. You took the palm of your hand and slapped it across my face. By the time you were done, my light brown cheek had a hand print across the left side of my face. I had to go into the bathroom and place a warm rag on it just to ease the pain.
But what happened after? You apologized and of course I finished washing your clothes and made you dinner: steak, potatoes, and broccoli. And let’s not forget what I had for dinner….nothing but cold cereal.
Remember when I found that number in your phone…what was her name again?…oh yeah Shelia, I saw the text in your phone and how she said the sex was memorable. She said she wanted you again. As a matter of fact she wanted you that night! So when I confronted you about it, you told me to shut up. You reminded me that I was living in your house and that if I didn’t like it I could get out and leave, and then you left the house. The bad thing was that you didn’t come home that night. You’ve yet to tell me where you were….so where were you?
You call me dumb as if that’s the name my father gave me. You make me feel like I’m not appreciated and I know there’s someone out there better to take care of me. You have no idea on how much I love you. But I love myself more although this abuse is something I struggle with, I know I can do better by myself.
This is it for us. I am leaving and I am not coming back. I am not going to do what I did the last time, pack my bags and just put them by the door. I was really ready to leave you that time, but the way you looked at me made me regret I’ve even took the time to pack my clothes. You bald your fist up and dared me to leave. And then I came to the realization that I didn’t have anywhere to go. You already made me disown my family. So I know I can’t ever go back home to them. Not my cousins, sister, brothers, or even my parents.
I mean I’m too young for this. I’m only 19 and yes it was a mistake for dropping out of high school but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a future. And maybe my past wasn’t so good, but my future has unlimited possibilities. And I’m only moments away of finding out how good my life can really be.
So this is it. I’m fa real this time. I’m leaving and never ever coming back. You don’t have to worry and don’t think your threats will scare me again. Once I walk out of that door you can find someone else to boss around. I don’t care what you do with your life because I’m gonna take care of me and mines.
“Janelle get your ass down here now! You been in that room all day and I’m hungry!”
My body jumps at the sound of his voice. I place the pin on the desk and shred the letter. I couldn’t have him see what I was writing or how I was feeling. I’m not ready for another ass whooping again. I can’t risk it this time because I’m pregnant with our first baby. I go downstairs to see what he wants. And on my way down I just pray he doesn’t hit me for taking too long.