Since March, I have been enjoying the journey of maternity leave. Prior to taking a hiatus from my job, I anticipated for day I would not have to return to work. All to know that motherhood is an excursion in itself. I’ve cried, became frustrated, and confused when it came to soothing our son whenever he cried. There were even times when I cried, however, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and work through it.
During my maternity leave I don’t have many places to go with a newborn, (especially with this unpredictable weather). After so many days of staying in the house, it started messing with my mental state. When walls look the same and your creative mind is challenged there are times when you want to throw in the towel and say forget it! I sat and watch television all day, talk on the phone about meaningless conversations, while changing diapers, nursing, and singing songs that have no meaning, (which is interesting I must say). This pattern happened consecutively and it got to a point where I became angry. I didn’t know what I want for my life and I was starting to feel like my life was chipping away. I was no longer an individual who had a dream, but a mom who had someone depending on them.
I love being a mom, and I am grateful to have a healthy baby, but sometimes I felt like that’s all I was…a mom. I believed my dreams were on the backburner and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to focus on them again. I viewed other people who were successful and became jealous. I was afraid that I would not be able to do what I wanted to do in life, as if my aspirations were taken away from me. This became scary because I thought what if I don’t do what I really wanted to do in life? This lead to frustration and confusion. One of the reasons why I felt this way was because growing up people would say, “when you have children your life is over.”
It took for me to pay attention to my mental mind to understand that life is what you make it, and that people will put their downfalls on you. Just because someone else became a parent and wasn’t able to conquer their dreams does not mean that will be my life.
It took a few weeks and self-evaluation for me to realize that life is what you make it. I spoke to family and friends who encouraged me to continue to strive and pursue my dreams. It’s important for me to not ignore the negative thoughts that were going on in my head but to figure out how to change the way I think. I had to talk about it and figure out how to get out of the funk. One of the things I did to help get passed my depression was journaling, reading, and listening to podcasts. Friends assured me the feelings I was going through was normal. I had to look at being a mother as an extension of myself instead of feeling like my life was being taken away from me.
Staying at home open my eyes to a lot of things.
It allowed me to see life during the day and most importantly it gave me time to see what I can do with my blog. Nowadays, we live in a time where we can be creative and do not have to depend on a 9-5 for an income. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with working, heck I have to go back in about two months. But in between naps, pumping breast milk, and feeding the little one, I found time to invest in reading, blogging, writing newsletters, and creating new things for Women for Thought.
During the beginning stages of staying at home, I gave my mind a rest from working and being on the computer, but after a few weeks of that, I realized blogging and staying creative is what kept me to happy. I was able to identify why I was feeling down, and the more I wrote and jot down my ideas the better I felt.
Everyone should work on themselves spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. When we work hard and are presented with minor to no results, that can afflict our mental minds. It can cause frustration, discouragement, and self-doubt. This is a normal feeling, but what we do with this feeling is key. Over the years I’ve learned who to surround myself with in order to conquer my dreams. If you are not around the right people your dreams can be shattered or diminished so be careful in the company you keep!
Be True To Yourself In Order To Grow MENTALLY
One time, I had a great idea and was excited to share it with an individual, only to be shut down by that person. They were doubtful and gave me examples as to why it was not going to happen. It hinders my growth because I valued this person’s opinion. I hesitated in making my idea a reality. I realized that that individual’s personality. They were negative and nothing good came from them. I became careful who I shared my dreams with and things I wanted to do became a reality. Also, we have to pay attention to the advice we are given, there are people who will tell you what you CAN and CANNOT do, yet their life does not match with their suggestions. These are the kind of people you take with a grain of salt if you cannot avoid them. Some people will not want you to live YOUR BEST LIFE because they are not!
Your mental mind goes hand in hand with what you are feeding yourself. If you are encountering “junk food” (negative people I call them) then your life has the ability to be the result of that. Give your mind the nutrition that it needs the “healthy food” (positive people) who are doing something with themselves. People who are successful and confident do not mind sharing how they got where they are. They become excited and honored that you came to them for advice. They can introduce you to people and show you things, before you know it you will be living out your goals and helping others in the process.
Community Convo: Can you identify the healthy food that is in your life? What were some of the things you had to do in order to get rid of the junk food and how has that changed your life?