Since March, I have been enjoying the journey of maternity leave. Prior to taking a hiatus from my job, I anticipated for day I would not have to return to work. All to know that motherhood is an excursion in itself. I’ve cried, became frustrated, and confused when it came to soothing our son whenever he cried. There were even times when I cried, however, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and work through it.
During my maternity leave I don’t have many places to go with a newborn, (especially with this unpredictable weather). After so many days of staying in the house, it started messing with my mental state. When walls look the same and your creative mind is challenged there are times when you want to throw in the towel and say forget it! I sat and watch television all day, talk on the phone about meaningless conversations, while changing diapers, nursing, and singing songs that have no meaning, (which is interesting I must say). This pattern happened consecutively and it got to a point where I became angry. I didn’t know what I want for my life and I was starting to feel like my life was chipping away. I was no longer an individual who had a dream, but a mom who had someone depending on them.
I love being a mom, and I am grateful to have a healthy baby, but sometimes I felt like that’s all I was…a mom. I believed my dreams were on the backburner and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to focus on them again. I viewed other people who were successful and became jealous. I was afraid that I would not be able to do what I wanted to do in life, as if my aspirations were taken away from me. This became scary because I thought what if I don’t do what I really wanted to do in life? This lead to frustration and confusion. One of the reasons why I felt this way was because growing up people would say, “when you have children your life is over.” Continue reading “How to Get Out Your Funky Mood”